heading over the mountain pass...

Last Friday I loaded up the Conestoga Wagon, a.k.a. lil' blue, my turbo charged 5 speed on the floor, VW Beetle and headed north to my bro and sis-in-laws abode in the San Joaquin Valley. The Conestoga was loaded with personal belongings, Italian sausages (what Italian hits the road without sausage in the car?),

my two cats I adore, fruit to knosh on and of course dark chocolate. With cats in tow I picked up Phill at work to head north through Los Angeles and up, up, up the mountain pass. I was the designated driver and was ready for our adventure.

To head up through The Grapevine you drive up mountain elevations up to 5000 feet. Thankfully, my turbo charged Conestoga can vroom and go! Passing all the 18 wheelers with ease and speed, the only concern was the high wind warning posted at the foot of the mountain. The Santa Anna winds wreck havoc through this mountain pass, and I was white knuckling worried that our car would be tossed over the rim of the road. I had seen pictures of huge haulers tossed and flipped like they weighed no more than a feather. I fear the Santa Anna Winds.

All was good, we were sailing with the other California dreamin' adventurers pushing past the head-on winds climbing to the summit. The views are absolutely magnificent! We drove by Angeles National Forest, summits of green and yellow wildflowers, mountain peaks as high as the sky, Pyramid Lake; the highway 99 (or freeway, haven't figured that out yet), which all leads down to the valley up north.

Selma the Raisin Capital of the world, has acres and acres of grape vines shriveling the future harvest in the sun. Yes, and on a billboard there was a California Raisin waving at all the peeps driving by.

We drove by structures that puzzle and amaze. They rival any modern art sculpture. Phill thought the concrete silos were filled with pistachios.

In the middle and in between here and there, the sun was still high in the sky. Suddenly Phill yells, "There is something in the road!" I spy a sofa cushion in the fast lane, and another cushion in the slow lane. I realize I can't drive into these lanes. Right in front of me is a SUV that suddenly swerves to the right.

I immediately start multi-tasking: Screaming like a girl "Oh my God, oh my God!!!!!!!", downshifting, and trying to find the hazard light button. I spy with my huge blue googely popping out in shock eyes that right in front of us is a sea grass green sofa blowing in the center lane of the highway!

I can't get around the sofa, instantly we had cars swerving to avoid us! Somehow by the grace of my Guardian Angel Victoria, ( I am pretty sure I had summoned with my panicked bellows) we were quickly driving around this life altering sofa, and onto safety. "Holy Flying Sofa," I screamed!!!

I cannot explain why we were not crushed from the others around me. I never did find the hazard light button during this time, but my heart once again was a-pounding in my chest! Phill and I drove onward stunned and scared out of our wits!

We must have entered the holy flying sofa phenomenon. Maybe Rod Sterling was outside the car watching as we entered the Twilight Zone.

It all happened so fast, but still as of today, quite unexplainable. I guess it just wasn't our time. Thank God, and my Guardian Angel Victoria! They made sure our obit's wouldn't state ...smashed into smithereens by the holy flying sofa escapde.

You can be sure that if Phill was driving....I would either have been knitting, knoshing on that chocolate in my bag, gabbing, and not being the ever so diligent co-Conestoga pilot.

My eyes wouldn't have been on the road.

The ironic part of this story is that for a many months Phill and I have not had a sofa. We had to lighten the load to move west. Recently we have been discussing if it was finally time to shop for something like a comfy sofa in the living room.

You can be sure, that when we finally decide and find a comfy sofa, it won't be in the middle of a 5 lane highway, nor will it be sea green in color. Holy Flying Sofa, where is your owner? How could anyone have a sofa blow out of their vehicle and leave it there?

On our way back home, Phill drove. I didn't play, I didn't knit, I didn't eat. I watched the road with eagle eyes! No way would we be victims of flying debris on this road ever again!

Whewpha!

I am now pondering the thought that when we travel we should be wearing rubber sumo suits We might look silly, but I might be on to sumpin'......

farmer's market booty......

Each Saturday, Phill and I have been shopping at the local Farmer's Markets. Look at the wonderful booty we purchased! This week we found the Dana Point market. It is so close to our home. We are having so much fun, exploring the fresh foods for sale. Our next favorite market is in Corona Del Mar. That market is 3o minutes north on the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway). The breathtaking views along the ocean are eye candy along the route to that market.

These California strawberries are the bestest we have tasted, and you know each one is lovingly dipped into my secret mix of melted chocolate! (If I tell you my recipe, then I am gonna have to ....off ya.) (So don't ask, and whatever you do, don't ask my mother...she can't keep a secret for anything! Especially, my secret chocolate mix!!)

The bag of oranges, five bucks! Since I am the self-appointed "Queen of Scurvy", I trust Phill wholeheartedly when he says these oranges are the most delicious he has ever tasted. I have been forced to try a segment or two. Then I get the shivers and run around the house until the citrus goosebumps go away!

We walk around the market with our canvas bags brimming with fresh grown vegetables and fruits. Having a blast spending a dollar for this and that. Nuttin' beats a cheap and healthy day at the market!

Come and visit, we will buy you Brussel Sprouts!!!

Oh my gosh......clipped right out of today's Orange County Register.....

To think "Hey Rube Get A Tube" Parade and Race held each September in Point Pleasant was "out there".  Or the crazy, in your face fireworks held on the Manasquan Beach every 4th of July.  I did by mistake once, drive to NYU during the Rainbow Coalition Parade in NYC in July.  Needless to say, the silver lame speedos I spotted were terrific to say the least!    

10,000 peeps mooned last year! 10,000!!!!!! I guess the police won't yell, "drop them" on this day!  

Somehow curiosity is getting the better of me, I want to know why this mooning started and why has it been held annually for over 30 years.  

Oh by the way, I just realized that street where the bar is...is in walking distance from my home.....................

blondey science lesson #1....

Which way is the wind blowing?

A) West

B) North

C) This-a-way

D) That-a-way

Correct answer gets you 1 thousand life science points!

The correct blondey science class #1 answer is letter D.  The wind is blowing that-a-way!  Welcome to simple science!

bronx and adventures of the the other world...

THE BRONX ZOO.   There were different species of  monkeys, gazelley types of creatures and a rather vocal grumbly lion. His jungle sounds made your hair stand up on end!  Most animals were away for the winter. I think they were in Florida! 

Then on over to Arthur Avenue.

The Italian Food mecca in the Bronx! A wonderful ending to a wonderful day.  What could be better ~ a carafe of house wine and a platter of antipasto.  Life is good.

Getting to NYC was another story.... Having a bulky backpack and totebag I was struggling to keep my belongings in one place on the NYC bound bus.  I shifted towards the HUGE picture window on the bus.  All of a sudden my window swings out and open! The bus driver is yelling at me to close the window! I yelled back with certainty, "I didn't open it!"   (it was my elbow...I must have a high IQ for that ever so smart elbow of mine!)

The woman behind me immediately helps and grabs the swinging window back into place.  We shove down the bar that latches the window closed and locked.  My 

Good Samaritan then says to me, to get my foot and kick the bar down! I said back to her now almost laughing/crying, "I can't get my leg up that far."   All during this- you got to me kidding me, I don't want any part of this adventure time-  I am holding onto my belongings with a white knuckle grip!  My buddy now gets up and with her high heeled boots and bravado ready to give one swift kick to the faulty latch!  I  quickly convinced her that the latch was back in it's secure location.  She then looks me in the eye and says, "you don't need a lawsuit."

Panic? Sweating? Scared? You bet!  All the rest of the bumpy, bumpy ride into Port Authority I was panicked that my large bus window would fall out of it's hinge and plunge me and my lonesome into litigation hell!

 

Once we reached the bus depot, I think I ran

 all the way to safety right into my youngest son's arms!

The  following day I was riding the subway (all by myself for the second time in my life)  I really thought would I rather....be on a bus with a swinging loose huge picture window, or be sitting across from a fellow passenger while he repeatedly banged his head on the wall,  and at the same lucky time, wild teenagers were huffing some sort of substance behind me.  

Myself and other passengers moved ourselves to another area of the subway car.  I then decided the bus although a different scarier was scarier safer.

Regards, Amy the Adventurer.

solitary content-ment

While walking in the sun last week, I saw my shadow.

I was a human sundial. 

It was ten to one. 

I was having the time of my life.

going silly with the slightly deranged....

Happily for Phill and I,  my brother is staying with us, as he works in our area for awhile.  Today we took him today to Salt Creek.  Salt Creek is the pathway down to the ocean.  It was just before sunset, and the magic hour was tinted in pink.  Rather overcast, but spectacular to say the least.

 We are having a great afternoon slowly making our way  down the concrete switchbacks and then down the 12o steps. Taking in the beauty and the.....what? Oh come on, now what?  

What is that in the distance on the beach? It looks like a man in a diaper...no wait a minute, he looks like the strongman at a circus. But rather, diminutive in height and on the pale side of never seeing the sun.  His black shoes and black calf high socks framed his slightly bowed legs.

The closer we came to him, we saw that he was running in his underwear.  Soggy white boxer shorts with a black waistband.  Somehow we all understood that he was cwazy, and we were thankful to have a steep wall of rocks separating us from "Cap'n Soggy Bottoms." 

His erractic behavior  had us keeping an eye on "Soggy Bottoms".  Beachcombers, runners and families down on the beach were making huge walking arcs around him; for good reasons we were sure!

As we were reaching the end of the walkway,  in the distance we hear the distinct 'whop whop whop' of helicopters.   We were searching the sky, and at that point they could only be heard not seen.  Suddenly, two large military helicopters emerge from around the mountain range and follow the beach along the coastline.  

We are in awe, then in utter shock as we see that "Cap'n Soggy Bottoms", (insert "ly" verb here)__________ly turns to the sky and gives our courageous military men the double bird.  We were in  hopes that the copters would have  swooped down and (insert verb here) _______ed him.  

It was  time to climb back up those 120 steeper than ever stairs, to the impossibly steep switchbacks.  Phill is way ahead of my brother and I. He looks back and he sees "Soggy Bottoms "starting to jog up to the steps. Phill then gives me the high sign, that I better get a move on...I was  hurrying,  scurrying , while my heart was thumping out of my chest, my breath was coming out in gasps, hoping against all hopes that no way on the face of the earth would our paths~ be it either the boogens, your worst nightmare, "Cap'n Soggy Bottoms" ever cross.

  I don't know how we did it, but somehow our high alertness and not wanting to be in the same space as that circus reject,  got our adrenaline flowing us right up into the safety of our locked car.   

Never a dull moment!  I was glad I wasn't alone.   Once locked safely in the car,  we all started laughing about what a crazy world we live in! Also, very thankful that in our lifetimes we never ran anywhere in our underwear. Ever!