going silly with the slightly deranged....

Happily for Phill and I,  my brother is staying with us, as he works in our area for awhile.  Today we took him today to Salt Creek.  Salt Creek is the pathway down to the ocean.  It was just before sunset, and the magic hour was tinted in pink.  Rather overcast, but spectacular to say the least.

 We are having a great afternoon slowly making our way  down the concrete switchbacks and then down the 12o steps. Taking in the beauty and the.....what? Oh come on, now what?  

What is that in the distance on the beach? It looks like a man in a diaper...no wait a minute, he looks like the strongman at a circus. But rather, diminutive in height and on the pale side of never seeing the sun.  His black shoes and black calf high socks framed his slightly bowed legs.

The closer we came to him, we saw that he was running in his underwear.  Soggy white boxer shorts with a black waistband.  Somehow we all understood that he was cwazy, and we were thankful to have a steep wall of rocks separating us from "Cap'n Soggy Bottoms." 

His erractic behavior  had us keeping an eye on "Soggy Bottoms".  Beachcombers, runners and families down on the beach were making huge walking arcs around him; for good reasons we were sure!

As we were reaching the end of the walkway,  in the distance we hear the distinct 'whop whop whop' of helicopters.   We were searching the sky, and at that point they could only be heard not seen.  Suddenly, two large military helicopters emerge from around the mountain range and follow the beach along the coastline.  

We are in awe, then in utter shock as we see that "Cap'n Soggy Bottoms", (insert "ly" verb here)__________ly turns to the sky and gives our courageous military men the double bird.  We were in  hopes that the copters would have  swooped down and (insert verb here) _______ed him.  

It was  time to climb back up those 120 steeper than ever stairs, to the impossibly steep switchbacks.  Phill is way ahead of my brother and I. He looks back and he sees "Soggy Bottoms "starting to jog up to the steps. Phill then gives me the high sign, that I better get a move on...I was  hurrying,  scurrying , while my heart was thumping out of my chest, my breath was coming out in gasps, hoping against all hopes that no way on the face of the earth would our paths~ be it either the boogens, your worst nightmare, "Cap'n Soggy Bottoms" ever cross.

  I don't know how we did it, but somehow our high alertness and not wanting to be in the same space as that circus reject,  got our adrenaline flowing us right up into the safety of our locked car.   

Never a dull moment!  I was glad I wasn't alone.   Once locked safely in the car,  we all started laughing about what a crazy world we live in! Also, very thankful that in our lifetimes we never ran anywhere in our underwear. Ever!

Colors ~ an interpretation.

 

We all fill out our  lives with color.  It is just who and how we are.  The first color T.V.  set in my house growing up, was when I was 16 years old.  Everything I watched growing up was in black and white.  I was surprised to learn that the actors wore costumes that matched!   I am a huge fan of old 1930-1960 movies being shown in black and white.  My imagination goes wild bringing the costumes and movie sets to life in the colors I “see”. 

 

 Being an artistic kid, I always saw shadows, and hues; the rich deepness and tones in colors amaze me.  That is probably why I enjoy taking pictures of flowers and trees.  Nature unfolds it’s glory everyday for us all to see and partake in it’s splendor.  

Last summer while Phill and I were walking Manasquan Beach at sunrise, it came to me that a sunrise is like a joke.  You have to be there to get the punch line!  I laughed all day with that one.   The sunrise was magnificent; with oranges, red and yellows filling up the new morning sky.

Why did you wear what you wore today?  Besides being functional, it was the colors of course. Your favorite clothing drapes you in colors that are soothing to your soul, or maybe to make a statement of your being.  I always have a hard time packing when I go away, I never know what color will be the shade of my day! 

My oldest son was sharing with me a while ago, that music has color too. I was being shown the sounds of greens and reds on a piano.  Somewhere you have to use your imagination and intuition to be able to see what colors are around you in fluid strokes of color; also to truly hear music that is filled with color. 

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I knew a wonderful woman who was the color “pastel blue”.  It amazed me, to be able to see her aura.  Pastel blue is gentle like the breeze, and loving like a hug.  That is how she was.  Pastel Blue.

We all exude beautiful spectrum's of shades, and hues. Maybe even though in life we tend to see in black and white. It is the colorful variations that bend and mold our world. 

This week, an angel received her wings.  Looking closely you will find that those glorious wings have hint of pastel blue.  

alarms, bells, and things that go BuMp in the night!

I spotted today, outside my bedroom window this red alarm bell.  I investigated further, and found out that each condo unit has one on the wall mounted outside by the front doors.  Each walkway leads to two front doors along a concrete canyon, so when and if that red bell does ring it’s gonna make a racket. 

 

What is it used for? Fire? Earthquakes? Eating too much at a meal? One is to wonder…. I do know that I am proudly practiced in screaming like a girl, or letting out a banshee yell that curdles milk. (I am rather proud of that yell!) (That yell almost got me booted off a Merry-go round in Jersey years ago…)

 

When my sister, brother and I were young kids, our father brought home a portable Westinghouse reel-to-reel tape recorder.  It had a wired microphone to “speak” into.  I can still remember the smell of the leather case today.  The three of us spent crazy hours sitting around the dining room table making recordings.

 

 Oh those were the days!  We either made up gangster voices we heard in the detective movies, or were chickens clucking along to songs or having chicken fights…”cluck, cluck, CLUCK!”   (Kudos to our mother for buying us the record, “Henrietta the Chicken sings opera”) Sometimes the chickens were gangsters. Hahaha. 

 

Being one who was rather vocal I perfected my murderous scream to the delight of my older bro and sis.  I don’t think my mother appreciated my screams, but they were Hollywood quality dying screams!! We would then play back our recordings and just laughed until we cried!  “You dirty rat, you killed…(insert scream here!!) hahaha. I would scream just to let it out.  Oh man.

 

 Those days Perry Mason was on T.V.  I even could impersonate his furrowed brow, or screw up my face to resemble those bad guys, Sam, Bub, Lou and Hal.  Sam had a closed left eye, mouth drawn down to the right, and a deep voice. Bub had the opposite facial tics and so on.  (Go ahead try it…) 

 To this day, I think I walk around with that Perry Mason furrowed brow! I have the deep wrinkle to prove it.  I guess the wind changed while I had my face contorted!

 

So sadly if that red alarm bells does ring, you can be sure that from socal to NJ and back, everyone will hear loud gangster clucking or a murderous scream that will most likely get us invited out of this library quiet neighborhood.  One thing I am certain of, I know I will be the bump in the night, like a flying projectile right into my bedroom ceiling!  

nuttin' but the toof.....

This ad arrived in the mail on Friday.  I started to laugh till I had tears in my eyes....(and silently praying I will never need teeth in a day!)

This silly ad brought me to a place long ago and far away...... 

Back in 1979 I worked in a lovely local health food store.  The owner was a gentle man, a friend, and very honorable.  We had many loyal customers who were into good health, and good karma.  

There was one gentleman though, I do not remember his name, but will never forget his tinted aviator glasses, his paunch, his '70's permed hair and his over all creepiness.  He would grab my elbow with a sweaty hand, or try to feel my back....ewww.  I was 20 years old, and wise.  I would make sure I went behind the counter when he came in the store so he couldn't try to handle me.  One day as I spied my "buddy" walking in, I mentioned to my boss my friend what he did to me...

Within minutes of the man shopping in the store, my boss starts to tell me this story... he was speaking rather loudly, and at the time I had no idea what was going on.

.....One night a man walked into a wonderful restaurant in the city.  He sat down and his server told him of the specials that evening.  He was told of the steak specials, and was tempted to order one of them for his dinner.  The gentleman wanted to order the steak, but told his server that he regretfully left his teeth home!  The server put in the order, and set it on the table.  The server then proceeded to pull of out his jacket a full set of dentures! The hungry man tried them, but they were too tight! He told his server they were of no use.  Again the server pulled out another set, and these were too loose!  This went on until the hungry man had a pair in his mouth that were perfect, and he ate his steak dinner with ease and delight!  (My boss at this time has tears in his eyes relaying this story to me; I was staring at him thinking to myself, 'what the heck??')

So at the end of the diner's delicious dinner he asked his server where he had all those dentures from, and did he owe him any money.  The server told the man, no cost at all! My brother works for the local morgue!!!!!!

At that exact moment, the end of this story brought the creepy permed haired customer man to bellow and storm out of the store, "I have heard quite enough!"

My boss looked at me and stated, " he will never bother you again, Amy."  

Still laughing from this incredible story, It was then told why the creepy man left. The angry customer was a professor at the local dental school!  

 

We laughed all day.... And until my last day working at this lovely store,  I was never approached and groped again.  

I am telling the toof!

So now I have to fess up on something I did....

The day the movers arrived to unpack our belongings here in socal they rang my front doorbell.  

Omar introduced himself, and what the plan was for the day.  Behind Omar was a tall lanky long-haired  30-ish year old man, with no front teeth.  He put out his hand and said, "I'm Yak."  I shook his hand, and replied, "Hi Yak."  Jose standing in the rear shook my hand and introduced himself as well.  

Phill then came to the door, and I let him know the movers were here, and ready to go.  The introductions started again...Omar says, "Hi I am Omar." He proceeds to shake Phill's hand.  Yak says, "I am Yak." Phill replies, "Hi Jack." 

WHAT??  Now  I am dying inside. Did my blonde brain just think and say his name was Yak???  I knew immediately I didn't hear properly because of Yak's lack of front toof's.  Oh my gosh.  When Phill and I finally got to be alone, I fess up what I did.  Man did we laugh!  I hope Yak didn't realize my goof.  He was a nice guy.  Sorry Yak.

As my father used to say, "If you are not true to your teeth, they will be false to you!"

And, that's the toof!

so how was your day so far?

What a question to ask! "So, how was your day so far?"

 I feel that it is a loaded question, just waiting for a one-two punch answer.  Maybe being a Jersey girl, I rankle when that is asked.... Who is asking, the clerks at retail stores!  East coast we meet a potential customer or clerk and either say, "Howyadoin' " or don't even make a hint of eye contact and go about the business at hand.  I like it that way, no interference, no obligation to recognize.  Howyadoin' is not a question, it is a statement of fact. Don't want to hear how you are really doing, no way no how!  I know in my heart we are not a mean people, just preoccupied with matters at hand, tasks to do, and places to go.  I am not here to be your bestest friend, I am here to purchase what I need/and/or want. 

The first time this was asked, I just went food shopping in socal for the first time.  My nerves were raw, feeling outplaced and alone.  A clerk asked, "so how was your day so far?" Tears welled up in my eyes, and I incoherently mumbled something awkward back. Do you really want to know??????  

So today again that imposing question was asked of me....again Amy the mumbler couldn't answer.... I just blankly stared and felt awkward.  Who knows...I have heard that asked at 7:45 a.m. in a coffee shop to a gentleman.  I almost burst out laughing!! How is your day so far?????  

I had a great day so far.  I woke up !  Had my favorite cup o' community coffee, made plans to create a few homemade pizza's for dinner.....man my day so far was awesome!  

I went driving around today, because it is raining.  I tried to get my car a free raindrop car wash.  Somehow lil' blue doesn't look as clean as I wished it would.  It is supposed to rain all weekend.  Maybe tomorrow I will suds it up before I go for that drive!  So, how was your day so far? Bubbly!!!   I think somehow I will violate some green law driving down the road tossing bubbles off my car.  Bummer.

I have found the coolest road. Selva Road.  

The picture I took doesn't really show the steepness to this road.  It does show what the land really looks like here; so very hilly.  I have renamed Selva Road, as Weeeeeee!  Can you imagine sleigh riding down this hill?

I had my car in low gear going down it.  Maybe tomorrow while I am driving all bubbly, I will test my stick shift skills going UP!

So, how was your day so far? It is gonna be a blast!!  

This week was another learning experience~ the Dana Point Post Office.  Walking in I see people milling around like they are waiting for the next subway to stop.  Being ever so observant ~ I feel something is way different!  Why do we mill about in the Post Office?  Because you must take a ticket and wait till your number is called!!!!!!!  Reminiscent of any other government agency in Caly??  

I have decided that Californian's are all little kids deep down inside, and make a game out of most everything!  I think the next time I go to purchase something I might yell "Uno!" when my last item has scanned! Wouldn't that be a blast!  Ok, so maybe my games are a little more twisted....

Thankfully, I had to wait at least 10 minutes in the post office until my number was called.  In that time I wrestled with myself not to order a pound of pastrami, a few hard rolls, and some imported provolone cheese.   I did have that giggly look on my face though when I approached the counter.  I behaved.

Bummer!  

So howyadoin so far? 

Whaddayawannofor? 

Gotta love it!