nuttin' but the toof.....

This ad arrived in the mail on Friday.  I started to laugh till I had tears in my eyes....(and silently praying I will never need teeth in a day!)

This silly ad brought me to a place long ago and far away...... 

Back in 1979 I worked in a lovely local health food store.  The owner was a gentle man, a friend, and very honorable.  We had many loyal customers who were into good health, and good karma.  

There was one gentleman though, I do not remember his name, but will never forget his tinted aviator glasses, his paunch, his '70's permed hair and his over all creepiness.  He would grab my elbow with a sweaty hand, or try to feel my back....ewww.  I was 20 years old, and wise.  I would make sure I went behind the counter when he came in the store so he couldn't try to handle me.  One day as I spied my "buddy" walking in, I mentioned to my boss my friend what he did to me...

Within minutes of the man shopping in the store, my boss starts to tell me this story... he was speaking rather loudly, and at the time I had no idea what was going on.

.....One night a man walked into a wonderful restaurant in the city.  He sat down and his server told him of the specials that evening.  He was told of the steak specials, and was tempted to order one of them for his dinner.  The gentleman wanted to order the steak, but told his server that he regretfully left his teeth home!  The server put in the order, and set it on the table.  The server then proceeded to pull of out his jacket a full set of dentures! The hungry man tried them, but they were too tight! He told his server they were of no use.  Again the server pulled out another set, and these were too loose!  This went on until the hungry man had a pair in his mouth that were perfect, and he ate his steak dinner with ease and delight!  (My boss at this time has tears in his eyes relaying this story to me; I was staring at him thinking to myself, 'what the heck??')

So at the end of the diner's delicious dinner he asked his server where he had all those dentures from, and did he owe him any money.  The server told the man, no cost at all! My brother works for the local morgue!!!!!!

At that exact moment, the end of this story brought the creepy permed haired customer man to bellow and storm out of the store, "I have heard quite enough!"

My boss looked at me and stated, " he will never bother you again, Amy."  

Still laughing from this incredible story, It was then told why the creepy man left. The angry customer was a professor at the local dental school!  

 

We laughed all day.... And until my last day working at this lovely store,  I was never approached and groped again.  

I am telling the toof!

So now I have to fess up on something I did....

The day the movers arrived to unpack our belongings here in socal they rang my front doorbell.  

Omar introduced himself, and what the plan was for the day.  Behind Omar was a tall lanky long-haired  30-ish year old man, with no front teeth.  He put out his hand and said, "I'm Yak."  I shook his hand, and replied, "Hi Yak."  Jose standing in the rear shook my hand and introduced himself as well.  

Phill then came to the door, and I let him know the movers were here, and ready to go.  The introductions started again...Omar says, "Hi I am Omar." He proceeds to shake Phill's hand.  Yak says, "I am Yak." Phill replies, "Hi Jack." 

WHAT??  Now  I am dying inside. Did my blonde brain just think and say his name was Yak???  I knew immediately I didn't hear properly because of Yak's lack of front toof's.  Oh my gosh.  When Phill and I finally got to be alone, I fess up what I did.  Man did we laugh!  I hope Yak didn't realize my goof.  He was a nice guy.  Sorry Yak.

As my father used to say, "If you are not true to your teeth, they will be false to you!"

And, that's the toof!