heading over the mountain pass...

Last Friday I loaded up the Conestoga Wagon, a.k.a. lil' blue, my turbo charged 5 speed on the floor, VW Beetle and headed north to my bro and sis-in-laws abode in the San Joaquin Valley. The Conestoga was loaded with personal belongings, Italian sausages (what Italian hits the road without sausage in the car?),

my two cats I adore, fruit to knosh on and of course dark chocolate. With cats in tow I picked up Phill at work to head north through Los Angeles and up, up, up the mountain pass. I was the designated driver and was ready for our adventure.

To head up through The Grapevine you drive up mountain elevations up to 5000 feet. Thankfully, my turbo charged Conestoga can vroom and go! Passing all the 18 wheelers with ease and speed, the only concern was the high wind warning posted at the foot of the mountain. The Santa Anna winds wreck havoc through this mountain pass, and I was white knuckling worried that our car would be tossed over the rim of the road. I had seen pictures of huge haulers tossed and flipped like they weighed no more than a feather. I fear the Santa Anna Winds.

All was good, we were sailing with the other California dreamin' adventurers pushing past the head-on winds climbing to the summit. The views are absolutely magnificent! We drove by Angeles National Forest, summits of green and yellow wildflowers, mountain peaks as high as the sky, Pyramid Lake; the highway 99 (or freeway, haven't figured that out yet), which all leads down to the valley up north.

Selma the Raisin Capital of the world, has acres and acres of grape vines shriveling the future harvest in the sun. Yes, and on a billboard there was a California Raisin waving at all the peeps driving by.

We drove by structures that puzzle and amaze. They rival any modern art sculpture. Phill thought the concrete silos were filled with pistachios.

In the middle and in between here and there, the sun was still high in the sky. Suddenly Phill yells, "There is something in the road!" I spy a sofa cushion in the fast lane, and another cushion in the slow lane. I realize I can't drive into these lanes. Right in front of me is a SUV that suddenly swerves to the right.

I immediately start multi-tasking: Screaming like a girl "Oh my God, oh my God!!!!!!!", downshifting, and trying to find the hazard light button. I spy with my huge blue googely popping out in shock eyes that right in front of us is a sea grass green sofa blowing in the center lane of the highway!

I can't get around the sofa, instantly we had cars swerving to avoid us! Somehow by the grace of my Guardian Angel Victoria, ( I am pretty sure I had summoned with my panicked bellows) we were quickly driving around this life altering sofa, and onto safety. "Holy Flying Sofa," I screamed!!!

I cannot explain why we were not crushed from the others around me. I never did find the hazard light button during this time, but my heart once again was a-pounding in my chest! Phill and I drove onward stunned and scared out of our wits!

We must have entered the holy flying sofa phenomenon. Maybe Rod Sterling was outside the car watching as we entered the Twilight Zone.

It all happened so fast, but still as of today, quite unexplainable. I guess it just wasn't our time. Thank God, and my Guardian Angel Victoria! They made sure our obit's wouldn't state ...smashed into smithereens by the holy flying sofa escapde.

You can be sure that if Phill was driving....I would either have been knitting, knoshing on that chocolate in my bag, gabbing, and not being the ever so diligent co-Conestoga pilot.

My eyes wouldn't have been on the road.

The ironic part of this story is that for a many months Phill and I have not had a sofa. We had to lighten the load to move west. Recently we have been discussing if it was finally time to shop for something like a comfy sofa in the living room.

You can be sure, that when we finally decide and find a comfy sofa, it won't be in the middle of a 5 lane highway, nor will it be sea green in color. Holy Flying Sofa, where is your owner? How could anyone have a sofa blow out of their vehicle and leave it there?

On our way back home, Phill drove. I didn't play, I didn't knit, I didn't eat. I watched the road with eagle eyes! No way would we be victims of flying debris on this road ever again!

Whewpha!

I am now pondering the thought that when we travel we should be wearing rubber sumo suits We might look silly, but I might be on to sumpin'......