a 3-ring circus...HoOps of fire....and a 2 trick pony...

What an experience....the California DMV.  Enough said? And to think that I had NJ in the lowest of lows of all DMV's on earth.  Nothing to compares to California's  'the most craziest show on earth!'

  What you want to move to the lovely state of California??? You better get your game on!  

We walk into the local office...all very subdubed except for the incessent calling of bingo numbers... G22 window 33 please..A19 window 1....

Explaining to our counter host we just moved in to socal (better lie about that move date....or $$$$), we get our forms to fill out.  We now have access to the "sideline"...oooh. Oh my gosh, you can't have more than 3 items of buisness....what??? It is okay, you just get additional bingo numbers to listen to.  Okay, no prob there...why is my wallet sweating in deep depreciatonal value??

Finally, B33 that's us! That's us!! Walkng over to counter 19 with filled out forms in hand we are ready.

What you have 2 numbers? Oh you better listen to it being called! Wait, am I supposed to clone myself at this point?  No problem counter #3 came to moi! Go figure.  

Whoa, woah, woah..... you can't register your car, truck and motorcycle....not now! You need to go to the Smog R Us  across the street and get a nifty $58 certificate to state you won't stink up our Sunshine State.  

Well okay....while we are being informed of the rules we didn't follow; counter #3 wants me to run over to her spot.  Okay, so I run and get the bucko rules on my license.  You pay $28 and we let you take our nifty test and take your thumbprint and lovely pic.  I was wondering what if I didn't have a right thumb.....

Run back to counter #19 whaddaImis...

Oh look, you didn't get to the Vin checker.... oh the vin checker!!! What the heck? So now our lovely DMV 'chuckles the burgandy haired clown' stated sorta like...would you look at, that the vin-ners don't come back until 1:30.....it is 12:15!!!! 

But wait, let's get you paid, and started on your paperwork...$450 please! What??

 

Wait, I just moved here (remember the move in date penalty clause??? Thank God I was wearing the correct color of the day!!) But chuckles I said with a nice happy face (was that a chore to do!), please I said so sweetly with my gapped tooth smile,  "we just signed our lease"....schmoozing the clown..it worked! Okay now you have to pay $345...more reasonable.

Here starts the hoops of fire.....YOU HAVE A TRUCK????? 

By gosh and you be screwed golly...you need a certifiable weight certificate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A what?????

(as I type this, Phill is driving one hour away to the closest certifiable DMV you be screwed you ever came to our state another $58 dolla weight scale in LA!)  

Amy the ever diligent, followed every rule, every $$ (remember Little Man that hit my car? His money mommy sent for my repair $$ now has been donated so gratefully to DMV....everything happens for a reason!!!)

  

I passed Smog R Us, waited a long time for the vin-ner to arrive- passed! 

And then waited on-line for my thumbprint, photo, and drivers test!

No kids, I went in cold. No studying for me!! I passed~ missed only two (hence the two trick pony...) As I am waiting on another line, sweating more than my wallet I am worried at 51 years old the happy test checker will say too loudly "you failed"  I had thoughts of how much I could pay her off...$$ Strangers all around give each other thumbs up when passing! I immediately was transported to 2nd grade worrying how I did...but in the 60's we didn't know thumbs up....hahahah. I did receive a smiley face on my test! Almost better than a gold star...and to think the test was corrected in that pc green ink.  No hard feelings from me!!

....The motorcycle...oh that didn't even get processed....Phill will be working on his wheelies and riding while standing on the seat trick!  Then he will report to counter...

fuhgeddaboudit..